Losing a child

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My 18 year old cousin was killed in a car accident this year. He was a first year engineering student at University with a full academic bursary, the lead guitarist in a rock band, a skateboard champion etc. How do you ever come to terms with such a loss? This is what I asked myself when supporting my sister in dealing with her loss. What do you say, what do you do? I was fortunate to attend a Pshycology course on Trauma recently and found new insight that I would like to share. The days are gone of just having to relive the terrible moments over and over again and having to tell the story over and over again. This often just increases the trauma. Just be there for the victim, you don't have to say anything, they will talk when they feel like it. Just to have someone caring for you, giving security is a huge help. I have come to the conclusion that the loss will NEVER go away, but life has to go on and the victim has to cope and come to terms with the terrible loss. By giving them the opportunity to do things that make them feel good, we can help them to keep living. So we invited my sister for a week's holiday and packed in as many "feel good" moments we could. This included walking on the beach, climbing sand dunes, going for a massage, having family meals together, going out to a tea party with friends, a home music concert with the children etc. We did not discuss her loss at all. She opened up on the last night before she went home and talked and talked and talked. It was in her own time. She now plans a round the country trip with her daughter later in the year. They want to keep on living and experiencing the good things in life. Her son will never be forgotten, but she has to keep on living.



Tags:	Loss, Coping, pschycology, living

Posted By:

vaevirak

Posted 4 Years, 10 months, 2 Weeks, 6 days ago

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