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I have battled with depression ever since I was born but never took medication till Iwas in my early thirties and I am 47 now. For the past almost 2 years I hjave been on the same meds sometimes chaanging doses. I am so depressed that I am almost ready to give up. I spend most of the week sleeping andI am tired of it my life is just floating away. I just bought a mobile home in a very nice park it will be 2 years now and I havent even gotten close to doing things I want to do to to make it my home. I have no friends so the days I am awake I am alone and lonely. I am a lesbian on top of that and I would love to have a lofe partner but there are not any people who wants a partner who cannot function from day to day. I have so much love to give and nobody to give it to me. Ihave 2 small dogs who need me and they just sit and wait for me to wake sometimes without food or water. It make me feel terrable but I cant seem to be me or at least the me I knew years ago. I hate my life I dont want to die but sometimes I see no reason to be alive when I only function a day or two a week. I am not susicidable at this time that is only how I feel about my life. I cant amagine not being here and on the other hand Icant see not being here since my life only consists of maby 2 or 3 day in a 7 day week and they are always spent alone. I have sevier degenerative disc desieze with authritse so now I am also physically disabled and take morphine 3 times a day. I can handle the physical part but the mental part is kicking me in the butt. I love my doctor but she cant seem to get it right. Iam not a canadite for shock therapy because of my back so I'm stuck with pills and they njust dont work. I have been on most everythink out there and nothing works. Some days I just want somebody to take me in there arms and hold me and tell me they can fix me but I know that wont happen. The past mont I have been continplating taking my life because I dont have one. I have an appt next month and something needs to happen to help me or I just dont know what I will do. If anybody has any sugestions please let me know I am very desperate to get well and live my live instead of sleeping it away. Please help me. Story goes here...

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meds, Life, appt

Posted By:

Rainbowgranny

2 months, 1 Week, 2 days, 7 hours, 29 minutes ago

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