With Silence...Comes Clarity

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It was very difficult coming to terms with being diagnosed as depressed and bipolar. More so, it wasn't made easier when I wanted to tell my family in the hopes that they would understand why I wanted to get help. Some of the responses were to be expected but others rocked my foundation. "There's nothing wrong with you!" some would say..."you just have a serious attitude problem". Now I don't know about you, but that's one of the worse responses you can get when you've decided to admit you have issues. In time things have become easier only because I am committed myself to ignoring what most people have to say. Sometimes it's amusing other times...not so much. However at the end of the day, I have to take responsibility for myself and my actions.

I can't vouch for every family in the world but it seems to almost be a fear of admitting that you have a weakness and need help to be able to function. I could never understand that. In school you are told that if you need help with something do not be afraid to ask and that no one should ridicule you for asking for help. When I find that I am in the presence of someone who doesn't want to respect that I am seeking help, I just tune them out. When they ask questions in what can only be deemed as being condescending, I simply tell them that I do not wish to talk about my life.

Since being diagnosed I have been seeking help on my own. By far it's not easy however I cannot lay down and die because I do not have support. Until I can get support I will have to keep seeking it out. Once I learned to tune out the external negative voices things became a little clearer for me. It still takes a great deal of time to learn how to deal with things in my life, but when I am able calm down, again comes clarity. My family may never extend their hand to help me and I am prepared to accept that and keep moving. It's my life, it's a gift from God, and it's time that I get a handle on the things that have been happening.



Tags:	family, Coping

Posted By:

smcneil79

Posted 4 Years, 11 months, 1 Week, 6 days ago

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