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The waitress's tray (2)
I've been ill for over 20 years and it took one test 6 months ago for me to finally tilt my waitress tray over. This one test assassinated my confidence and self-worth in one hour. I've taken many tests, but this one in particular brought me to my knees, and left me in shambles. I always prided myself on being very intelligent and intellectual, sensible the whole gambit, but this totally blindsided me.
You'll hear me refer to "the waitress's tray" which is what I had all the things in my life stacked up on until it came tumbling off and crashing down around my feet. I just knew that everything that I had and had worked towards was all for naught, and that all of my mother's abusive, bitter prophecies were coming to pass. It's a daily struggle for someone like me to ask for help, admit that I can't do something and just fess up to not being a superhuman being.
These days I've taken off a few items to make my "waitress tray" a little lighter. It's somewhat depressing, but I believe it's doable, if I set my mind to it. I just remember that I can only effect my today, and tomorrow, and to take one day at a time.
Tags: hope, Destitution
Posted By: Caring professional 1 Year, 3 Weeks, 5 days, 10 hours, 47 minutes ago Personal Story
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