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contintued on my all time low 3 |
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Who would think like that? All these years (it's been at least 8) I thought I just was 'addicted to the internet' and that 'I just flipped out for a while' I'm normal right? Other people do this too right? I spent, all 8 years living with what I did to my family. Yes we’re still together, I one day realized what a mistake I had made and sent him back home to his country. Life moved on, however with quite a bit of difficulty.
Well….. with that story in mind, it occurred to me (after reading a lot about bipolar on the net) that geez, I’ve done stupid stuff like that on and off since I was 14 years old! I can think of at least 6 instances where I completely went off the deep end, and doing things that NORMAL people don’t do. Yet turning around and looking at these instances like, no biggie. I’m mortified by my actions after I do them, but during the time, it seems perfectly reasonable. These periods of oddness usually happened for minimum of 3 week, usually lasting up to 6 months, where, during this time, I feel absolutely happy, very sure of myself, confident and most assuredly NORMAL. Yet by and large, I was FAR from normal.
Now, I’m in a very VERY low state of depression, to the point I have considered suicide (no I’m not suicidal anymore). I did at the time, have a plan, had the means. You name it I had it, yet didn’t have the energy to do it (Thank god).
What’s funny is, the first time I was ‘manic’ I was actually put in a mental institution. My parents did it when I was 14 to keep me away from my 18 year old boyfriend (who I was about to run away to Mexico with at the time). During my time in the mental institution, I was never labeled anything but a genius (did a darn IQ test on me). So after I was released, I secretly keep seeing this ‘boyfriend’ for a while, then started getting together with a lot of guys (so to speak). I didn’t get treatment, I didn’t get help, and I was never diagnosed.
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phoenix1971 |
11 months, 1 Week, 5 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes ago |
Personal Story |
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All Votes: 1 |
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