contintued on my all time low

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I talked to her that Friday (picking up my check) She said to call us back when your feeling better. So I hope that means I'll actually have a job to go back to, because I have burnt every single bridge from here to there and everywhere inbetween.

Then, last weekend was my birthday, my parents were set to come down, I had to clean the house (which had been terribly neglected for who knows how long.
As I was cleaning, I took a break and got on the computer.

I did a google search for severe depression. Anyone ever do that? It comes up with more links to Bi-polar than 'depression'. That got me thinking, reading, doing tests.
I realized that I have had major manic phases. Severe ones that I'm 1. lucky to have lived through, 2. lucky to still have a family through, and 3. lucky to not be living on the street.

For years I've brushed off these 'episodes' as I just flipped out. Everyone does it from time to time right? BUT do you know of anyone that does it for 3 months straight? Who feels completely out of control and cannot think, not sleeping, rarely eating (lost 65#s) and inviting people you don't know, from another country to come and live with your family (with the impression 'I" was unhappy in my marriage). Which the unhappiness in my marriage was in itself untrue. BUT I wasn't getting the attention I used to. So I turned to the internet, where I got all the attention I needed plus some.
So I invited this man to come live with us (my husband, children and myself) thinking it would sort itself out. WHAT IN THE WORLD???!!!

Who would think like that? All these years (it's been at least 8) I thought I just was 'addicted to the internet' and that 'I just flipped out for a while' I'm normal right? Other people do this too right? I spent, all 8 years living with what I did to my family. Yes we’re still together, I one day realized what a mistake I had made and sent him back home to his country. Life moved on, however with quite a bit of difficulty.

Tags:

mania, bipolar

Posted By:

phoenix1971

1 Year, 1 month, 1 Week, 3 days, 23 hours, 10 minutes ago

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