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Lorraine

Joined: 12-Aug-2007
Posts: 15
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 04:45 am
Post topic: Aftereffects of Divorce on Kids		  
I went through a particularly nasty divorce last year. And now I'm having trouble with my 14-year-old son. It's like he blames me for his father not being here anymore. His attitude has gotten really snotty, and I'm pulling my hair out. I don't know how much is resentment over the divorce and how much is normal teenage angst. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for a struggling mom? Thanks!
Tags: divorce , children , adolescents , teenagers , resentment , relationships
 
Author Messages

Sparky

Joined: 15-Aug-2007
Posts: 13
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 03:27 am
Post topic: Aftereffects of Divorce on Kids		  
I acted the same way toward my mom when she divorced my dad. But it didn't last long (my resentment, that is). The one thing I'd be really careful about is not bad-mouthing your ex-husband. If you put him down, it will only make your son feel like he has to choose between the two of you.
 
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Cheerful

Joined: 14-Aug-2007
Posts: 123
Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 07:24 pm
Post topic: Aftereffects of Divorce on Kids		  
I agree with Sparky. My older son is 14 so a certain amount of moodiness is expected. However, it sounds like this stems from the divorce. Maybe counseling might help so he has someone impartial to open up to. I tell my boys that they call call thier dad whenever they want. When I have them, I try to do activities with them so that they have a chance to open up and talk in a non-threatening environment. Sitting at a table to talk it out seems to put them on the spot too much but if I slide things into conversation while we're doing other things, it seems to be easier for them to open up. I follow their lead. If they bring it up, then it must be something they want to talk about and I ask questions about their feelings and then acknowledge their feelings and tell them its okay to feel that way.
 
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pljacobs39

Joined: 25-Aug-2007
Posts: 22
Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 09:41 am
Post topic: Aftereffects of Divorce on Kids		  
I agree.. I have a 19 year old that wants us to get back together and we were divorced when she was 18 months old. She gets very angry when she discusses her father and I and our relationship. It is difficult on the kids; however, they eventually learn as my daughter has that the divorce may not be what they really like but in the long run it is better for them than to be living in a household with a lot of anger, resentment and arguing. I didn't get married to get divorced and I gave my ex a second chance even after I found out that he was cheating... then he did it again.. I could not live with that any longer..
 
Author Messages

Sissy

Joined: 18-Jul-2007
Posts: 251
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 08:46 pm
Post topic: Aftereffects of Divorce on Kids		  
I know that it definitely affects them but some children are more resilitent than others. Sissy
 
 
 

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